Things I have learned as a new lesbian....

1. Not all vaginas look alike. While sharing the same parts, said parts may be different size, texture, shape. Apparently, there is some sort of vagina hierarchy - those which belong in magazines, and those which are often referred to as deli meat or something about curtains. While surprised to learn that not all look like mine (yes, I'm a recovering prude), I was pleased to discover that options exist. I do not subscribe to this idea of vagina superiority.
2. Sex redefined. Growing up as a prudish Catholic girl, sex was penetration. Well, clearly, that defination needed to change if I ever hoped to get laid again. Yes, sex can still exist in those terms when using toys, but what about good ol' missionary lesbian sex? I was so naive, I had to ask my new girlfriend when we are having sex and when we are making out. My understanding is that some lesbians define it has when you cum. If that were the case, we all popped our own cherries.

3. Patience really is a virtue. Women don't orgasm as quickly as men. Who knew?? It takes far more talent, patience and determination, however, the reward is just that.....rewarding! Oh my America!!!

4. There isn't always a man in a lesbian relationship. It's true, both girls can be girls. We can both be emotional, we can both be sucks, we can both wear make up. There doesn't always have to be a dyke and a lipstick. There are different types of girls....and each one can be the girl in very different ways.

5. Sometimes, I like to be the man in the relationship. Or what I perceive "the man" is in a relationship.

6. I look like my girlfriend. So much so, apparently, that when out and about, people can only explain our relationship as twins/sisters (unless showing affection - topic for seperate blog - do gay people show more affection in public than heterosexual couples?). Upon learning that we are most definately NOT related, they continue to insist that we must be lying. C'est tres amusant.

7. Lesbians really do like cats. All my life, I was a dog person. 6 months into my lesbian relationship, we have two cats and I'm holding them and talking to them like they're my unborn children that my womb is screaming for. We now have three cats.

8. I know where the local Home Depot and U-haul rental is. All jokes aside about lesbians bringing their u-haul trucks on their second date, I did throw all previous beliefs about moving too quickly aside and started living with my gf after a few months. We then proceeded to reno and paint our apartment. We had to upsize our toolbox.

9. Guys think it's all for them. Let me set the stage: bistro turn club/bar at night in Peterborough. Sitting at bar with girlfriend, having a drink, talking, laughing, enjoying ourselves. Men start to circle. After a while, we share a quick kiss. Apparently, we have sent the modern day signal for come hit on us.

unattractive dude in his 20s with arm around each of us and head between us: "Can I get in on this action?"

No, no you cannot.

10. Soft skin is much sexier. No hairy backs, no stubble on the face, no calloused hands, no gross toenails, no wrinkly nacho-cheese forskin, and boobs that are supposed to be boobs.