The Commute.

Well, do all you die hard followers (ha!), I’m back! I’m committed. For real.

As you know (since you’re all my friends and I’m generally a sharer), RC and I have purchased a home. Our love-mobile (aka U-Haul), swept us away beyond the great boundaries…past the DVP, past Pickering and Ajax … heck, past Bowmanville (where?) and the 401. Yup, we’ve purchased in the booming CITY of Peterborough. We saw the developing trend and got in at the ground floor. I am overwhelmed with the number of things I could talk about regarding the move, the hellish summer filled with spreadsheets, budgeting, re-budgeting and adjusting, the family visits to our new home … it goes on. But I choose to describe what I must go through each day to sustain home ownership.

I work right downtown Toronto – a 10 minute walk from Bay and King. To my front door, that’s 143 kms. I have been ushered into the world of commuting. I’m not complaining; I chose this life. I also choose (most days!) to see the humour in my 4 hour daily slog. Let me first outline exactly how my day unfolds (it’s down to a precise schedule).

4:45am – phone alarm – do do do do do deet do, do do do do do deet do – snooze about 5x
5:00 – radio alarm – if we’re lucky, we will hear The Wolf loud and clear. Often it’s fuzzy, despite it being clear as a bell when we set it
5:10-5:15 – get up, turn all lights on, try and wake RC up
5:15-5:25 – shower
5:25 – yell upstairs for RC to get, feel like a bitch
5:25 – 5:50 – run around getting ready (RC makes my coffee, breakfast, lunch, feeds cats – more on current cat situation later)
5:50-5:55 – must pull out of driveway no later than 5:55
5:55 – 6:42 – work on my relationship with my two besties – Matt Galloway and Wei Chan
6:43 – 6:46 – run to get on optimal car of GO Train
6:47 – 7:38 –avoid eye contact with girl I sit across from each morning, do Metro crossword, nap from Pickering to Union
7:38 – 7:50 – give myself shin splints walking to office in the underground and avoid temptation to shop - hope I don’t see co-worker who can attest that I was not in at 7:45
7:45 – 3:45 – work
3:47 – 4:00 – continue to master way to avoid Do Not Walk lights, collect Metro Play and T.O.Night, get to track 13 (I now know where my train will be each day without having to stand around looking at track schedule)
4:00 – get my prime seat near the door of the first car (sometimes forced to stand), and start crosswords and Sudoku’s
4:10 – 5:01 – do 3 crosswords and two Sudoku’s, lament my Train 48 life as I listen to the same 5-7 “adults” flirt with each other, make fart jokes, make lesbian jokes, make the most obvious crass sex jokes
5:01 – 5:03 – run, set alarm for car so I know where I’m running, jump in car and start it and pull out without putting on seatbelt or taking purse off – avoid parking lot congestion! (don’t worry, I put my seatbelt on once I’m underway)
5:03 – 5:45 – work on my relationship with Laura DiBattista and pretend I’m Mario Andretti (I literally time myself every 10kms – 5min per 10kms – god save anyone who holds me up and make me miss my mark)
5:47 – Honey, I’m home!!!

There ya have it folks, from 4:45am to 5:45pm. My Commute. Otherwise known as “How Forcing Myself to Become a Positive Person and Seeing Humour in the Most Frustrating and Inane People has Saved me from Slitting my Wrists”. (which I can’t do for two years or else RC won’t be able to collect insurance).